Friday, January 11, 2019

The Big News

I’m going to stop you right here and clear the air:


Nor do we plan on becoming pregnant in the near future. I killed my classroom fish and didn’t realize it was dead for at least two days...I DO NOT need a tiny human. 

Now that we have that settled...

This is my fifth year teaching. It is also my fifth year playing in a band. I’d like to say it’s easy managing both lifestyles, but that would be a lie. It’s hard, frustrating, exhausting, and overwhelming. In southern terms, I’ve got too many eggs in one basket. I can’t give my all to either; therefore, I’m making a choice. Teacher by day OR songstress by night. 

This hasn’t been a simple decision. Both careers possess unique challenges and opportunities. They both encourage me and motivate me to be a better person. I created a pros/cons list, I talked with family/friends, I consulted my dogs...I was lost.

I started praying. 

It wasn’t until I read a devotional, “Chase the Lion” by Mark Batterson, that I started to see a glimmer of the answer I was so longing for. Mark states that a dream shouldn’t just be a dream, it should be a God sized dream! A dream so big that it’s impossible to accomplish without the help of God. 

I prayed more. 

I bought the book, “A Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren, and started listening to Rick’s Daily Hope Podcast (highly recommended!). It led me to join the worship team at Hillside Christian Church South Campus. I stopped focusing on MY purpose and started seeing God’s purpose and how I can fit into that puzzle. 

I prayed harder. 

It wasn’t until I joined a bible study, Rooted, that I found my answer. This was a very unique bible study full of tasks and challenges. One week required us to fast. Now, I love Jesus...but I also adore food and this was a big task for a teacher on a Wednesday who’s students bring her homemade pancakes with strawberry toppings. Nevertheless, I survived, and that evening, tucked away in a supply closet in the basement of our church as I prayed, “God I need help”...a verse popped into my noggin. First I’d like to state that I read my Bible, but I don’t have this stuff memorized and I definitely can’t reference perfect scriptures. So when I heard “read Isaiah 54” I honestly didn’t think it existed. The number seemed too high and I was definitely way hungry and possibly delirious. 

I found Isaiah 54. 

“Sing, oh childless Woman, you who have never given birth; burst into song...”

I cried like a baby. 

I don’t know what the future holds for me. I don’t know what challenges will be thrown at me. I don’t know what failures I’ll be forced to endure or what successes I’ll praise God for, and that’s okay. I don’t need to know. I just need to go. 

As of June 2019 I will no longer be “Teacher by Day - Songstress by Night”. 

I’ll just be songstress 24/7. 

I hope you’ll come on this journey with me.